Slice of Life with Toni Graves
Toni Graves is the Global Head of Reward and Wellbeing for international law firm Allen & Overy. The firm invited Rob Stephenson, Founder of the InsideOut LeaderBoard, to support the senior leadership team with their version of the ‘This is Me’ videos; through which lived experience of mental ill-health is shared to offer hope and encouragement to others.
When Rob came in to speak to senior leaders at Allen & Overy about sharing their stories around mental health, what were the biggest concerns or objections that you encountered?
When I contacted Rob, we had already pulled together a group of six people (including myself) who had provisionally agreed to share their stories. There were no objections as such, but there were certainly concerns. One of the most common was a worry that their story wouldn’t be ‘good enough’, i.e. relevant or helpful to others. Rob really helped us to address this in the initial meeting by inviting partners from other firms (who had already told their stories) to join us and explain why they did it, the response they got, and how they felt about the experience.
Why do you believe it's so important for leaders to be open about mental health?
If we really want to normalise conversations about mental health, it has to start from the top of the organisation. We want as many people as possible to tell their stories, but it wouldn’t be fair to expect employees to do something that our partners and leaders wouldn’t. I think it’s helpful to see that individuals we think of as successful and infallible can be vulnerable too, and have experienced setbacks. Particularly powerful was the fact that they had all learnt from their experiences, and grown as people. It really was a watershed moment for us and, 18 months on, it is still talked about as one of the most impactful things we have done as an organisation. We’re planning a second series of stories featuring individuals at all levels of our organisation, and I feel very comfortable asking for volunteers, knowing that people in leadership positions went first.
What would you say to any leader considering sharing their mental health story at work, but having doubts about how it'll be received?
The response to all six of our original storytellers was incredibly positive. All of them received emails and calls from colleagues they knew, and many they didn’t, offering messages of support or sharing their own experiences. It really helped to break down the stigma that still surrounds mental health. One thing we noticed was that people were more likely to click on the story of someone in the same part of the business, so it’s important to try to find people from all areas of the business.
What do you see as the biggest barrier to ending the stigma around mental health in the workplace?
‘You’re so brave’ is often the first thing people are told when they share their stories. The legal sector is a high-pressure environment, and lawyers often have perfectionist tendencies and set incredibly high standards for themselves. Acknowledging potential mental health problems is still seen by many as an admission of weakness. The only way to address this is for people, like our original six storytellers, to keep speaking out until it becomes so commonplace that it’s no longer seen as ‘brave’.
When people do share their mental health journey, what impact do you think it has on them?
It’s natural to feel nervous beforehand, but once it’s done it feels quite liberating to be able to be yourself. And when you receive emails from people who seek help as a result of listening to your story, you know you’ve done a good thing.