Sleep and Parenthood: Do the Two Ever Mix?
If you’re a parent you’ll know only too well the sheer desperation of sleep deprivation. Whether you’re a new parent being perpetually woken for feeds throughout the night, or a seasoned parent laying awake with a head-full of worries about your kids, the chances are that your sleep has suffered since making the transition from care-free to primary carer.
Sleep is incredibly important for our overall wellbeing. It helps us to process the day, retain information, think clearly, exercise creativity, and be at our best. But to feel the full benefits of sleep, we generally need between seven and nine hours a night. And for a lot of parents, that number feels far from achievable.
There’s also a real catch-22 going on for parents when it comes to the connection between sleep and mental health. A lack of sleep can contribute to anxiety, depression, and post-natal depression, while any form of mental illness can make it hard to get a peaceful night’s rest.
So, is there anything you can actually do about it?
Setting Yourself Up For Sleep
While we can’t stop your baby from needing night feeds or your teenagers from plaguing you with worries, we can help you to wind down and switch off so that you’re ready to make the most of the precious hours that are up for grabs.
You don’t have to follow all of these tips, but take a read through and see what works for you.
Establish a routine
Establish a routine for yourself: Whether you’re a new parent or your children are a little older, the importance of having a routine doesn’t change. Give yourself a bedtime (yes, really) and do your best to stick to it. Try to wind down at least an hour before bed by reading a book, having a bath, or simply switching off your devices. Drink herbal tea, try out a pillow spray, and consider journaling if your thoughts are spiralling.
Establish a routine for your children: Again, it’s really important to stick to the same bedtime every night (at least in the week). Give your baby/child a warm bath to calm them down, get them snuggly and warm as soon as they’re out, and settle down to read or sing to them. Make sure their room is dark and not too hot, and consider investing in a white noise machine if your baby struggles to settle without you.
Sleep when the baby sleeps: We know, we know. It’s incredibly frustrating advice when you have a million and one things to do around the house, but honestly, your rest has to come first – at least until you’re getting more sleep at night. Take the pressure off yourself entirely, and if your body is telling you to sleep, sleep. Napping, even for 20 minutes, can really lower your stress levels – helping you to cope with the challenges of parenthood.
Set boundaries: When you’re a new parent the whole world wants to visit; which can be lovely, unless it’s interfering with nap schedules or your own downtime. It’s incredibly important during the first few months that you put yourself and your baby first, which means getting comfortable with telling people no if a visit just isn’t convenient.
Split sleeping duties: If you live with a partner and tend to share the burden of night time feeds/cries/nappy changes, this might not actually be the most effective approach. Instead of both being awake, it can be more beneficial to take it in turns each night – allowing you to get a good night’s sleep every other night. The best way to achieve this is by using ear plugs and a sleep mask on your ‘night off’, or sleeping in a separate room if you have that luxury.
Rest in other ways: It can actually be really stressful when you feel pressured to sleep as much as you can; especially when sleep isn’t coming easily to you. If that’s the case, remind yourself that simply resting will be doing you good – even if you can’t drop off. And if you need a little help quietening your mind in the wee hours, pop in your headphones and listen to a sleep story or some relaxing music.
Ask for support: If sleep deprivation is worrying you and making you unwell, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Having a trusted friend or family member stay with you to take over at night, or letting your child stay elsewhere for an evening, can do you the world of good in allowing you to catch up on some much-needed rest. If overnight isn’t an option, even an hour during the day can be enough to clear your head.
For more help and support, visit the National Sleep Charityty.